3 warning signs you might have victim tendencies

Me…a victimSeriously?


That’s what I thought until I saw the 3 warning signs.  Then I realized I was:


If you would have met me several years ago (before I left my day job), our conversation would have gone something like this:

I feel frustrated. I want to do more but I’m not allowed to. I’ve tried so many times, but I always get shot down. It’s ___  fault. 

Without even knowing it, for the first 3 decades of my life I lived from a victim mindset. Victims think and act a certain way.

Behaviors flow from beliefs and victims believe the world “happens” to them. (Share on Twitter| Facebook |Google+| LinkedIn)

Victims see themselves as powerless and unable to change themselves or the world around them. They broadcast a frequency that repels victors and attracts other victims. In a short amount of time, victims congregate and begin reinforcing their victimhood with each other.

Victims find fulfillment in adding to the drama by surrounding themselves with people who agree with the story inside their heads. Once this occurs, it’s extremely difficult to break free.

Who wants to be in that icky place? Not me. I eventually broke free, but I had to realize my own victim tendencies first. (Clarity always precedes escaping captivity.)

If you think you might be a victim, check out these 3 warning signs and form your own conclusion?

1. Victims BLAME others

Back when I was a blamer I made sure to point the finger at everyone else for my own lack of success. Unrealized dreams felt too painful and so I simply pinned it on others.

Blamers are just undercover victims who abdicate their power and announce their ignorance. They react rather than respond, believing it’s always someone else’s fault.

Men are anxious to improve their circumstances, but are unwilling to improve themselves, they therefore remain bound. —James Allen

No one needed to tell me I was bound. I already felt it.

2. Victims make EXCUSES

Back when I made excuses I simply tried to alleviate the pain. Too bad my strategy backfired. I only ended up causing more pain.

My favorite book says, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick.”  And that’s exactly the way I felt, heartsick. Excuses allowed me to pretend I didn’t care as much. But lying to yourself never fools anyone…especially yourself. 

An excuse is worse than a lie, for an excuse is a lie, guarded. —Alexander Pope

No one needed to tell me I was lying. I already knew it.

3. Victims live in DENIAL

Back when I lived in denial I tried to convince myself I was content. Good thing I had a few truth tellers who confronted me. Chet’s strength forced me to examine my own weakness. His words made me feel nauseous because they were true.

You can’t take the ring and stay in the shire. —Chet Scott

Once someone calls you out you have a choice. You can continue to live in denial or you can accept the truth. Moving toward the truth is the first step in shifting from victim to victor.

No one needed to tell me I needed to become a victor. I already feared it.

Do you have Victim Tendencies?

On November 14-15 at the Igniting Souls Conference I’m investing 2 days helping a small group of people. Together we’ll take a deep dive into what obstacles keep you playing a victim. We’ll identify areas where you blame others, make excuses, and live in denial. Then we’ll give you tools to transition from victim to victor.

4 meals + 2 days of transformation + a 90 day action plan = an incredibly small investment of time and finances

The “Victim” session is only 1 of 9. You have 8 other sessions. More info. on these other sessions below. If you want to secure your spot at the Igniting Souls Conference, do it today. Use the extra $100 off code.

Igniting Souls Conference 


You’re probably a VICTIM? I know I was. As long as other people were the problem I never achieved my dreams. When I finally took responsibility, my life began to change. We’ll create a plan to identify your obstacles and then overcome them. No judgement here. Only support and solutions.

Full schedule here.  Use IGNITER100 at checkout to get an additional $100 off for a limited time.

Read more about the other sessions below:

  • Barak Strickland says:

    Looking forward to 2 days of ignition…along with many, many days of application 🙂