What do you do when you “outgrow” your spouse


In our industry I often hear others say:

I’m growing at a faster rate than my spouse.

Many times high achievers and high performers feel disconnected in their relationships. Does this just “come with the territory” or are there steps you can take to bridge the gap? Is this a false view and an indication of arrogance and lack of awareness? This episode begins the conversation on an incredibly taboo topic that’s threatening many relationships.


I recorded 23 minutes of content on this topic. Listen on iTunes or Audioboom. The podcast is free and it’s dedicated to helping you become a soul on fire.

I’ll close with a question for the comment section below. I’d like to know:

What tip would you give to someone who says they’ve “outgrown” their spouse? 

  • Great challenging episode Kary. Anytime I hear someone communicate that they believe they are outgrowing their spouse I cringe. Because, I used to feel that early in my marriage until I learned that it probably wasn’t true. Even if it was, it was just that we were growing in different areas. If we are growing, then we are growing as leaders, a we need to lead at home.

  • Pat Hazelwood says:

    Great topic Kary! When you approach marriage as a one-flesh relationship, you will begin to see how every individual growth step is moving you both closer to the direction God is taking you in as a couple. If your spouse does’nt see it right now, love them unconditionally. We never outgrow baby steps.